10 Strong Female-Directed Horror Films

I recently was asked by a friend, who was really into film but was also somewhat uninitiated with horror. about female directors in general.  Since Horror is kinda my thing, I made her a list of some good horror flicks that were helmed by Women.  I mentioned on Facebook that I had made such a list and, upon reflecting, realized that it was a really excellent list of horror flicks.  So, given that interest, I decided to go ahead and make a post on the subject.  I have fifteen that I recommend (the bottom two or three I have reservations about, but they're interesting), and decided to include what I call the "bonus round," which are films directed by Women that I either a)haven't seen or b)didn't care for, but generally suggest if you want to achieve the goal my friend did: watch movies directed by Women that are, regardless of gender, well made.  So, let's do this.

In NO PARTICULAR ORDER, because ranking is hard:

Near Dark (Dir. Kathryn Bigelow)

It's odd that Bigelow is sometimes referred to as James Cameron's Wife, because she's SO much better than he is at filmmaking.  Near Dark is one of the finest Vampire movies ever made (despite the kinda bullshit "cure" that the film presents) and a very strong film.  Bigelow fills it with this Western movie feel, invoking a sort of manifest destiny/americana style...with strong performances to boot.  

Amer/The Strange Color of Your Body's Tears (Dir. Helene Cattet and Bruno Forzani)

While technically only CO-directed by a Woman, the modern day giallos that are Amer and Strange Color are extraordinary films.  I remember originally watching them on a whim (at the time, Amer was discussed a little on the internet, and then later Strange Color just showed up on Netflix) and being thoroughly engrossed.  They are entirely style over substance in many ways-both have very little in the way of plot-but they were GORGEOUS films.  Definitely worth checking out for those more into sensory exposure.

American Mary (Dir. The Soska Sisters)

One of my favorites of the 21st century, American Mary is likely the best body horror movie made since Cronenberg.  The Soska Sisters, now better known as the hosts of TV reality/game show Hellevator are rather hit or miss as filmmakers, but Mary is an extraordinary film nonetheless. Katherine Isabelle gives an amazing performance.  One could also check out their slasher film See No Evil 2 which, for a run-of-the-mill slasher starring WWE superstar Kane (also horror legends Katherine Isabelle and Danielle Harris), is surprisingly watchable.

The Babadook (Dir. Jennifer Kent)

I've talked about this film in other blog posts, and I maintain it's one of the best films in recent years, regardless of genre.  A lot of people complain about "the annoying kid" but seem to miss the fact that his annoyance is kind of part of the point. One of the more interesting meditations on grief and the personification of mental and emotional problems ever made.  Highly recommended.

Pet Sematary (Dir. Mary Lambert)

FUUUUUCK

To this day, I have a hard time getting through this film because when I was, like, seven, my Mom was watching it on a Sunday afternoon and I saw that beautiful lady pictured above and damn near pissed myself.  So, I still occasionally have to look away or something whenever Zelda is on screen.  Beyond that, this movie (and the book by Stephen King on which it's based) is utterly soul rending ("No Fair, No Fair!") and the best adaptation I've seen.

American Psycho (Dir.Mary Harron)

Do you like Huey Lewis and the News?

While technically a horror/comedy hybrid, American Psycho remains a favorite of mine.  While it avoids most of the horrific excesses of Brett Easton Ellis' novel, it's still a pretty hardcore serial killer film.  Also, Patrick Bateman absolutely killed everyone in this movie.  It's not in his head.  Read the damned book.

Ravenous (Dir.Antonia Bird)

Another odd horror/comedy hybrid.  It will always be one of the oddest films I've ever seen.  Strange musical cues, bizarre characters...while it never quite manages to actually understand a lot of things about American history, it still remains utterly charming.  And weird.  Can't stress that enough.

In My Skin (Dir. Marina de Van)

Did I say American Mary was the best body horror movie of the 21st Century?  If I did, I meant In My Skin. A thoroughly creepy and unsettling body horror flick about a young woman who, after an accident at a party gives her a nasty cut, becomes obsessed with her own body and...well, that'd be telling.  While it primarily sticks to body horror concepts, it also manages to delve deeply into self actualization and other personal ideas.  De Van, who also stars, does an exceptional job in presenting a character dealing with some issues that are both horrific and strangely uplifting.

The Invitation (Dir. Karyn Kusama)

My pick for best horror film of 2016, Kusama's excellent paranoia film is a wonder to behold, rewarding subsequent viewings.  Great performances, a troubling premise, and some excellent twists highlight a deeply creepy and effective film.  Those who aren't super discerning about their thrills could also check out Jennifer's Body (written by Diablo Cody who, with all due respect, is not the strongest writer ever).

Bonus Round:

“Carrie”(2013)-Kimberly Pierce 

“Trouble Every Day”-Claire Denis 

“A Girl Walks Home Alone At Night”-Ana Lily Amapour 

“Honeymoon”-Leigh Janiak 

“Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare”-Rachel Talalay 

I never saw these (though I'm looking to change that), but they could be worth something...

“Blood Diner”-Jackie Kong

“The Velvet Vampire”-Stephanie Rothman

“Boxing Helena”-Jennifer Lynch

“Humanoids of the Deep”-Barbara Peeters

Super duper bonus round:

“The Hand That Rocks The Cradle”-Written by Amanda Silver(Actually directed by Curtis Hanson).

The Top 20 Horror Films of 2016 Pt.2 10-1

Uhhh....I'm up, I'm up!

In Part One I discussed the upswing of the genre and detailed movies 20-11 on my top twenty list, ranging from anthology films, Mother/Daughter bonding time, Cops against weirdos, and closed-door suspense thrillers.  I don't have much more to add, so we'll jump back into it.

10. The Autopsy of Jane Doe

Some movies work based entirely on setting and atmosphere, even though the story isn't exactly the strongest element around.  Autopsy does an excellent job at utilizing technique, character, and performance to gloss over some of the films weaker elements to create a thoroughly strong little horror film.  Occasionally it DOES overreach, but when this film works it works extremely well.  Brian Cox gives an excellent and relatively subdued performance as an aging, repressed Mortician who, along with his son, performances the titular autopsy and finds his beliefs and repression challenged.  It's a strong performance within a strong, if not a little overdone, horror film.

9. Demon

I was saddened to learn that Marcin Wrona committed suicide sometime after the completion of Demon, primarily because it grieves me to know that we'll never see if he could manage to follow up this really intelligent little horror flick with anything better.  What makes this film tick is a tricky element: using a ghost/possession story as a metaphor for deep seated cultural issues.  To reveal what that issue is would be something of a spoiler, but to see this film so expertly ford the rough waters of a society deciding to focus on celebration and revelry instead of confronting its own history.  There are scenes in this movie that I don't think I'll ever forget, such as a group of drunken revelers stumbling happily but shamefully past an aghast funeral procession.  It was truly haunting stuff.  But don't let that give you the wrong impression: in the midst of all this cultural commentary, it's also pretty funny.

8. Hush

The second of Mike Flanagans two efforts this year, Hush proves to be one the strongest home invasion film of the year (of which there were many, with mixed results), and provides a star making performance by a very talented actress in the form of Kate Siegel.  Siegel plays a deaf Woman living alone in a country home after a breakup, who finds herself menaced by a masked man whose only ambition is to ruin peoples days.  What ensues is a highly suspenseful and, most importantly, intelligent film.  The heroine is resourceful, the story doesn't gloss over minor (and very real) details, and the villain is bone chilling.  It's available as a Netflix exclusive, so do yourself a favor and check it out.

7. Nina Forever

This horror comedy combines deep seated emotional and psychological issues with strange tongue-in-cheek surrealism to wonderful effect.  A young woman becomes enamored with a troubled young man reeling from the death of his girlfriend, and begins a relationship with him...however, every time they attempt to make love, the aforementioned dead girlfriend squirms her way up from the mattress...usually to mock them.  It's not the most subtle metaphor, but it's deeply effective and well-played.  It has a sense of depth that bores its way into the mind rather quickly and stays there.  It's something special.

6. Under The Shadow

This Iranian horror flick does something that I feel is very important in todays world: reminds us Americans just how lucky we are.  While the ghostly elements of Under The Shadow are fairly hit-or-miss, the psychological bits of personal stress combined with the constant threat of having a bomb literally fly through your ceiling at any moment, and your safety being conditional upon how your own Government sees you (as one memorable scene shows: our heroine flees her tormentor only to be arrested because she didn't put her Hijab)...it's really haunting stuff. 

5. Train to Busan

Just when you thought the Zombie subgenre was dead (and it is, really), South Korea comes along and makes a Zombie movie that thoroughly and thoughtfully reminds us why the genre really exists: to discuss the selfishness and selflessness of the human condition.  Some excellent character work puts the icing on the cake, making the entire piece a very moving study of strangers going from being in it for themselves to forming a makeshift family in the face of unending pressure and tragedy.  It's a story of nobility from the most unexpected of sources, and a morality tale.

4. The Eyes of My Mother

This artsy, stark nightmare of a film was one of the most effective and unsettling films released this year in any genre, telling a sobering story of psychological damage and the banality of violence from the perspective of the one doing the violence.  Told in three acts, Eyes details the personal history of a character that is a person first, and a psychopath second, utilizing a fascinating amount of restraint (we see almost no violence whatsoever in its short running time, only the outcome of that violence), and a dizzying variation of intimacy and distance, both visually and emotionally.  What ostensibly occurs is a movie that provides us with a point of view that is both disturbingly familiar but morally alien.

3. The Neon Demon

Nicholas Winding Refn is something of a polarizing filmmaker, and his 2016 horror outing The Neon Demon is no exception.  Stunningly and hauntingly beautiful, confusingly surreal and disquieting, the film shows us a shifty, squirmy peak into a world of ambition, objectification and jealousy, all with an unbelievably intrusive (and beautiful) synth score.  It's a very quiet, slow movie, but if you give it the chance and keep an open mind, it will likely slime its way right into your frontal lobe, and stick with you for weeks.  

2. The Witch

I was incredibly torn on where to put The Witch.  My heart told me it was meant to be number one, but ultimately my brain won out and I put something else there, but you may as well consider this as the OTHER number one horror film of the year.  There hasn't been a movie like this in quite some time...actually, there may have never been a film quite like this before.  The most interesting element of this film is how you could set it in the modern era without changing anything outside of superficial details, which is exactly the point: the themes of religious intolerance, coming of age, freudian family dynamics, and even the high anxiety of trying to survive in a world you're not quite prepared to thrive in, for any reason.  The creepiest stuff in this film comes from those themes far more than it does from any witchcraft, with the titular monster being far more representative of a hostile environment encroaching upon those who arrogantly presume superior knowledge. 

1. The Invitation

Few films put me on the edge of my seat quite like The Invitation, and as such I chose it over The Witch, which was not an easy decision.  The ensemble cast is very game, with a quiet sense of menace being expertly presented by director Karyn Kusama. A man, who isn't exactly the picture of health, accepts an invitation to a dinner party hosted by his estranged ex-wife and her new husband.  Upon arriving he finds himself beset by the demons of his past and a very off-setting question: is his ex-wife and her Husband up to something sinister?  Is he being paranoid? Combined with those excellent mysterious elements, performances and a highly pressurized atmosphere (asking just how much weird would you put up with to be polite), there is a sense of progressive social ideas presented as well.  It's a truly stunning work, and is my favorite of the year...and believe me, that was NOT an easy choice to make.

So, there you have it.  Some good recommendations for you to check out.  It's been a great year.  I can't wait to see if 2017 can raise the bar.

The Top 20 Horror Films of 2016 Pt.1 20-11

Black Phillip says you're wicked.  He also welcomes you to this blog.

It goes without saying that 2016 hasn't been a particularly great year for most of us.  Me personally: ton of medical issues, financial problems, tons of anxiety about the future, loneliness and rejection...y'know, hilarity. For the rest of us: tons of icons from film, television and movies passed away, Brexit and, of course, a Trump Presidency.  Racism, sexism, homophobia have become dangerously normalized, and the threat of War and ruin looms above us all.

So, is it really so surprising that 2016 has been a particularly fantastic year for the Horror genre?  Not only have the films been excellent (which is, of course, the reason that you're reading this), but TV shows like Ash Vs The Evil Dead, The Exorcist, and even a particularly strong season of American Horror Story have graced the small screen.  Things are really looking up for the genre.  The reason for this sudden upswing in excellence is, in my estimation, a direct result of the political and social unrest that has been gripping the world: I think it's always true to say that as society suffers, art excels. On top of this, the horror genre has always been an outlet for our fears and anxieties, so it only makes sense that the genre would start representing some of those issues, while also throwing out a bunch of escapist scary stuff to keep us occupied.

In that spirit, I've expanded the list to Twenty films over last years Fifteen. This may seem arbitrary...and it kind of is...but it's to reflect the rise in quality that the genre has begun to exhibit this past year (not that last year was a slouch) and will hopefully continue to exhibit.

So, let's get the honorable mentions out of the way and get on with it, won't you?

Honorable Mention:

The Conjuring 2: Good, not great.  First one was better.

Green Room: Solid suspense outing, just not terribly engaging.

Phantasm:Ravager: Not the best film, but brought a cult favorite franchise to a close with dignity.

Last Girl Standing: Very good,just not QUITE good enough for this list.

20. Carnage Park/Darling

 

 While Darling is the better film, it's actual release date is kinda debatable.  It's not, for instance, on any critics top lists this year, but was on a few last year...while it was on the festival circuit last year, it got released to the public in early January.  So, even though it's an excellent film with an amazing performance by Lauren Ashley Carter (whom I adore), it may not be relevant.  So, in its stead, I've selected Mikey Keating's other effort this year. Carnage Park.  While she's no Carter, Ashley Bell is a very fine actress (best known for her turn as Nell in the underrated The Last Exorcism films) and gives a lot to enjoy here as an innocent girl who goes from being kidnapped during a bank heist to being hunted by a psychopath in the desert.  As a movie about isolation, hopelessness (Bells character is going through a tough time even BEFORE her ordeal) and helplessness, it hits home in a big way with a fantastic, though occasionally plodding, cat and mouse game.  Keating proved with these two films that he is definitely a talent to watch in coming years.

19. Southbound

One of the first horror flicks to be released this year (and quite possibly the first good one), Southbound manages to reclaim anthology based horror cinema from the disgusting, filth-encrusted hands of projects like ABC's of Death with an ambitious and surreal journey through hell.  While, as is the curse of all anthology films, not all stories are created equal and sometimes the movie finds its special effects marred by a lack of financial resources, some of the stories have a unique sense of danger and cleverness (the best of which being a Young Woman who ends up in a weird house when she and her friends van breaks down on the highway), while managing to keep everything moving forward nicely...and a connection between everything that is really interesting.  

18. Baskin

A gory, psychotic Turkish import about a group of Cops finding themselves dealing with a hellish nightmare.  While the characters feel somewhat shorted as the movie moves on (which, to be fair, is mostly caused by them being fully eclipsed by the films shocking and extreme imagery), it's still undeniably effective.  I'm not usually super into gore/torture flicks, but something about the horrific events performed in this film are hypnotic and, occasionally, beautiful.  It's one of this years weirder movies, and definitely one of the hardest to sit through (especially for the uninitiated or squeamish), but it's a really fascinating piece.

17. The Monster

Every once in a great while a film comes along and reminds me how effective simplicity can really be.  While director Bryan Bertino is something of a mixed bag as a director (what with the suspenseful but deeply stupid The Strangers and the cinematic stress headache that is Mockingbird), The Monster feels like his most mature and well conceived project to date.  The story revolves more on character than threat, focusing specifically on the dysfunctional but heartfelt relationship between a precocious and scarred little girl and her alcoholic, petulant and even more scarred Mother.  While the horror elements work well enough, it's the emotional moments that land the best, being moving without necessarily being too melodramatic.  Zoe Kazan gives an excellent performance as the Mother.  It was one of the biggest pleasant surprises of the year.

16. Creepy

Anyone who knows me knows that I've never been a huge supporter of Japanese horror: it isn't that I think it's bad, it just rarely ever works for me the way that, say, Chinese or Korean horror tends to.  With that in mind, know that I genuinely loved Creepy.  What impressed me to the most about it was the level of restraint it ultimately chose to exercise: considering that the film focuses a lot of psychological and emotional manipulation performed on Women by a sleazy psychopath, it never pushes the physical elements that an America film version certainly would have.  The general premise (an ex-cop and his Wife move next door to a dangerous, manipulative psychopath who manages to convince others to do his bidding) had me nervous about a rape sequence for most of its running time...and it never came.  This does nothing to diminish the films sense of tension or terror, though: the movie is without a doubt a hair raising ball of suspense.  On top of this, the performances are excellent, and some highly intelligent casting choices (the two men, the cop and the psycho, are played by polar opposites: the cop is one of the most handsome men I've ever seen, and the psycho looks like a Frog) make it a very effective thriller.

15. Ouija:Origin of Evil

One of two films featured on my best of list by director Mike Flanagan (Absentia, Oculus), who has become one of my favorite modern horror filmmakers, this one would have easily been one of the films this year I would have expected to be a pile of garbage but turned out to be a very effective film that performed a rare (but not unexpected, really, considering the source) feat: it outdid the original.  Again, this wasn't hard, seeing as how a kick to the face would likely be more entertaining than Ouija, but it still doesn't happen often.  And, more importantly, it's beyond being better than the original: it's actually Good. The performances are strong, and the story manages to be effective and even occasionally scary despite the handicap of being handcuffed canonically to an inferior film.  Annalise Basso, who had also performed in Flanagan's excellent Oculus, gives a teenage girl performance that feels very real instead of generic, and seems poised to be a legitimate star.

14. Evolution

I'm fairly certain that Evolution is the weirdest film on the list this year (well, close anyway), and that's a pretty big compliment.  Very sparse, very quiet, and undeniably creepy, Evolution challenges the viewer to piece together the information themselves, never succumbing to the urge to offer exposition OR denouement.  Never does the film explain its imagery, but that doesn't mean there aren't answers hidden within this bizarre little story of a Young Boy trying to figure out why the entire population of his home (or is it...) island is entirely populated by Women and Young Boys.  What any of it means tends to come second to the breathtaking, hazy and dreamlike cinematography that keeps things engaging.

13. 10 Cloverfield Lane

I really wanted this to be higher on the list, but its final twenty minutes feels so awkward and tacked on that I just couldn't justify it any higher despite its extraordinary qualities.  Easily one of the most suspenseful films of the year, with one of the strongest ensembles and fantastic set pieces, 10 Cloverfield Lane went from being a suspected joke to one of the best respected films of 2016.  While all the players are excellent, this film belongs to John Goodman who, with no doubt in my mind, is THE scariest horror movie villain of the year.  It's a performance that needs to be seen to be believed.  Extraordinary film, mediocre ending...but everything leading up to the end is a thing of absolute beauty.

12. Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse

The best thing about this buddy comedy/horror film mashup is how effortlessly and specifically it subverts expectations and tropes.  Any other film likely would have leaned even further on stereotypes when presenting its characters (especially in the main characters chubby, super-scout buddy, who is allowed to be a full-fledged character with thoughts and feelings instead of a walking punchline), which results in an overwhelming sense of honesty and charm.  While the comedy doesn't ALWAYS land quite right, and neither does the horror for that matter, the charm and sentimentality always does, leading it to be in the top movies of the year, and quite likely the most uplifting of the bunch.  

11. The Wailing

I've been a believer in South Korean horror films for quite some time now, so I was definitely excited at the opportunity to see this cop-drama/horror mashup.  A lazy, mostly ineffective police officer finds himself having to rise to the occasion when a series of strange deaths begin to rock his community, which might have something to do with the strange Japanese man who has moved in recently.  While a film of this kind usually would play itself painfully straight (and wouldn't be blamed for doing so, nor would such a choice damage the film in any way), The Wailing instead mines its premise and characters for just as much comedy as pathos, with extraordinary effect.  While it IS funny, the movie doesn't go full comedy, either, instead weaving the humor and drama together into a very honest slice of life: no matter how scary or funny things are, life always moves on.  While some of the story elements get muddy and obscure (even now I'm only half sure what the mystery amounts to), it's an excellent film.

On to Part Two!

The Neon Demon (2016)

Cast: Elle Fanning, Jena Malone, Bella Heathcote, Abbey Lee, Karl Glusman, Christina Hendricks, Desmond Harrington, Keanu Reeves.

Director: Nicholas Winding Refn.

Well, I'm back.  No record was set (obviously) but this blog can be salvaged by getting back on the horse and just doing what I do best: talking about movies, without any time constraints, greater ambitions or what have you.  So, that's what I intend to do, starting with Nicholas Winding Refn's newest effort, The Neon Demon.  I liked Drive well enough, even if I wasn't as blown away by it as a lot of others seemed to be, but Refn's minimalist grunge-glamour hybrid style is definitely fascinating to watch.  Plus, y'know, synth scores kinda rule.  I missed his other flick, Only God Forgives but heard and read good things...as for this film, I know little about it beyond the cast list, so, with that, might as well get on with it.  Gonna avoid spoilers as best as possible.

Refn certainly has a way with interesting color usage and composition...opening with huge splashes of reds and blues, then one of the most gorgeous dead body shots I've seen outside of an Argento film: placing a woman with a bright blue dress, a pool of blood, a puke green couch and a silver background all together into a stage-like set...beautiful.  Blue/Red contrast is clearly going to be a big deal here.

I'm not sure anyone could do that grunge/glamour mash-up like Refn does.  Even in the earliest scenes, he manages to make things look filthy and sticky, but brightly lit and colorful.  Portraying two Women have a vaguely flirtatious (and mildly predatory) conversation as an actress scrubs fake blood off of her, the dressing room filled with pinpoints of light...the only weakness to this style is that the imagery overpowers the sequence: I barely even registered that Jena Malone was on screen, because I was so distracted by the shiny.

The metaphors here aren't exactly subtle...in fact, the dialogue feels a little rough.  Again, though, the scene playing out under neon lighting (again, I feel like this is very Argento...whether or not that's a bad thing remains to be seen) with reds and blues mixing together into this washout effect...it's stunning. 

Very nice contrast moves made visually...this is obviously going to be a visual film.  Cutting from more flashing colors against black to the rather drab apartment of the lead is a nice smash cut.  Elle Fanning is doing some good performance work here, especially with the visuals making her seem so out of place against backdrops of cities (smothered by smog) and the dominating presence of the great Christina Hendricks...again, it's not subtle.  Every conversation the lead has creates a sense of predator and prey: Fanning is prey, while these other women regard her as something of a meal.  It's an interesting dynamic, ostensibly cutting the "male gaze" out of the situation (at least overall, besides sequences of Fanning with photographers...).  

I want something else to comment on other than visual flourishes, but it really is that kind of movie.  Another brief pseudo-seductive moment between Fanning and Malone that works quite well, but it really is brief...then there is a gorgeous and surrealistic sequences on a photoshoot set where we get to some male gaze stuff...it's a strange and difficult scene, but its worked rather expertly.  It's surreal, and creepy, and it feels dangerous but somehow transcendent, almost clinically un-erotic...feel like this movie is going to test my vocabulary in more than a few ways.  Desmond Harringtons complete lack of emotion seems to present an almost sociopathic approach to the world of modeling: that there is no feeling beneath it, just that clinical precision...its strange and beautiful, and almost anti-beauty at the same time.  A cold, unfeeling approach to beauty.  

I'm still trying to get a handle on what this movie is actually about, other than the (again) rather straightforward metaphors about predatory instincts and the superficial and soulless approach to mass-produced beauty industry...there's a little commentary on the average being unique in a conformist world(quite a bit of it actually: Elle is presented as stunningly ordinary but everyone reacts to her as if she is the most beautiful thing ever), but there's still not much of a plot in sight.  This movie brings to mind Argento, Black Swan and a little Mulholland Drive but, as I said earlier, I'm not sure yet if that's a blessing or a curse at this point.  Those comparisons are extraordinary, but it remains to be seen if that comparison will ruin it as a whole.  Will it just be a comparison film, or be a unique work of art....

Keanu Reeves is doing an excellent aggressive performance...he's playing it completely disgusting but it has a comedic effect while being undeniably menacing.  It's a fascinating little role for him to be playing.  Not sure this movie needed male roles at all, but their minimalist caricature presentations (scum bag, nice guy, unfeeling artist) is at least marginally effective.   I wish the story gave a little bit more to it, though...most of the interactions she has with other models are so obvious in their opinions that it feels almost comical.  But then, as soon as it jumps back into a long, visually gorgeous scene with a low key synth score all of that wishy washy dialogue stuff mostly melts away.

I'm wondering if the shallow dialogue and obvious metaphorical pretension is deliberate, as a meta example of the shallow lack of personality in the world of modeling?  Like, all this beautiful imagery ultimately means nothing because it lacks substance and reality?  It's difficult to say.  I really can't tell if it's that or just poorly written.  Representation of shallow subject matter, or shallow representation of subject matter?

I've thoroughly enjoyed all scenes between Fanning and Malone: they are so unusual, so predatory and...just very strange.  Ethereal would be a good word for them. The film is at its best when its attempting wordless transcendence, visual representations of identity, and being nigh incomprehensible.  When it attempts any sort of landing, or attempts to be grounded, it sputters and flops.  I'm not sure I've seen a film that can only handle the big stuff but not be able to handle fundamentals. It's a fascinating exercise, at any rate.

Hmm...not sure if the movie jumped the shark or reached its most brilliant height...at any rate, it went weirder than ever, in an entirely different direction.  Malone is kinda nailing it, though.  I won't give anything away, but...shit just got real.  It's odd that more menace wasn't quite utilized in the build up to the climax, it just sneaks up on the viewer suddenly without warning.  Again, I'm not sure its ineffective...or if it's a strong choice...I'll need to take a few minutes to do the math on it when it's over with.  In the meantime, I'm gonna watch this very...unusual creative move happen.

Final Thoughts: I feel like I can say without hesitation that The Neon Demon is one of the weirdest films I've seen in awhile, and I'm going to go out on a limb and say that that is a good thing.  Visually the film is almost beyond reproach: contrast, composition, color, lighting, and staging make it on par with anything I've seen.  Earlier, I compared it to Argento, Lynch and Aronofsky, and wondered if that was a blessing or a curse and now that the credits have rolled, the movie has ended and I've stepped away for a much needed cigarette and a good think, I have decided that it is a positive one.  The movie belongs in the sort of artistic category of films like Suspiria, Black Swan and Mulholland Drive, even if it doesn't quite reach the heights those films did (two of them being among the top five horror films of the 21st century) but it's close.  While the dialogue occasionally is choppy, the metaphor unsubtle and overall production uneven, it's difficult to condemn it for that...as I mentioned earlier, I'm not so sure the shallowness of everything isn't a specific choice made to underscore the greater themes of coveted beauty, lack of depth and the sucking of soul from beauty.  

At it's best, it's a weird, slightly uneven art piece, at its worst a beautiful disaster, and either of them aren't necessarily a detractor.  Whether or not the films weaknesses are expertly disguised strengths or not, the film is undeniably a hypnotic, engaging viewing experience that confounds most conventional logic and taste.  

Final Rating: Y'know what?  Gonna go with Four Stars.  While I find myself unable to commit to loving or hating it, I cannot deny its effect.  Solid work.

Movie 161: Slaughter High (1986)

 Starring: Caroline Munro, Simon Scuddamore, Carmine Iannaccone, Donna Yeager, Gary Martin.
Director: George Dugdale, Mark Ezra, Peter Litten.

Well, it's April Fools Day, technically, and Slaughter High was originally titled "April Fool's Day" and takes place on the titular day as well, so it seems like a fitting beginning.  We'll follow up with other April Fool's films tomorrow, but for tonight(well, this morning) we'll focus on this little gem from the mid-eighties slasher craze.  If memory serves, it's actually a rather fun little film with a lot of charm, but it's been a long time since I've checked it out.

Hey, we have a score from Harry Manfredini...and, wait, three directors?  I seriously had no idea about that, and I usually know that kind of thing.  Caroline Munro, I know, though...a scream queen in her own right with huge...tracts of land.  Anyway, we have a pretty simple set up here: nerdy Marty is lured into a prank by Munro under false promises of locker room sex, and hilarity ensues.  Marty, of course, is really exceptionally lame: I wonder if the prank would have been satisfying to this group of "cool" kids if Marty acted like a human being instead of a cast-off from Revenge of the Nerds.  Anyway, Caroline convinces Marty to get into the shower, turns it on...gets him naked and the group of punks throw open the shower and take a picture of him naked, spray him with soap, rub him down with a sponge, and give a swirley...all on the guys birthday.  Only Caroline shows even the slightest amount of remorse...the coach comes in and finds this all occurring and forces all the punks to go the gym and run laps...and, of course, our bullies blame Marty for this punishment.  I was bullied in High School but never to this level of cruelty.  The Coach gives it to 'em pretty good, though...except two of the punks have skipped the punishment to further torment Marty...and Marty hasn't figured out that Caroline led him into a trap.  So he accepts a joint from his tormentors that makes him sick, and while he's throwing up, the ringleader screws with Marty's chemistry experiment that then blows up and hideously scars his face.  Ha ha.  April Fools.

I mean, I think even I would have picked on Marty.  I'm not proud of that, but anyone THIS ridiculous would be way too easy of a target.  Not that I would have ever gone as far as these assholes did...but, yeah.  To be fair to the jerks, they clearly didn't really mean to create a situation that would hideously scar the guy...but, three pranks in a row is still pretty excessive any way to slice it...also, screenwriting wise, it's really a long way around.  It's taken an absurdly long time to get to this accident that assuredly creates a super villain.  Anyway, the jerks witness Marty's start of darkness and are understandably feeling kind of bad about it...at least to the point that Caroline Munro wakes up from a nightmare about it years later.  Not sure if waking up is an improvement, though: she lives in one of the ugliest apartments I've ever seen, and apparently she's an actress.  So, living nightmare.

Also, in a pretty clumsy transition: Caroline is going to her High School Reunion.  Off she drives in her Voltswagon Beetle to her surprisingly secluded, countryside high school.  Oh, no, wait, sorry: the beetle belongs to Skip or whatever...the ringleader captain of the team/class clown(somehow that combination occurred)...anyway.  Seriously, this is one secluded high school...and apparently it's abandoned?  How does a high school get abandoned?  And did these characters not keep in touch with anyone outside their immediate group of friends?  No one else?  It gets dark and they don't go back to town, instead deciding to break into the dark, clearly abandoned high school.

At least with Harry Manfredini doing the score we get a Friday the 13th music sting when one of the dolts jumps out with a Jason mask on.  He even makes a direct reference to the film...which makes it even odder that these guys are wandering into a horror film scenario.  They find a room with decorations and Marty's old yearbook, and there's some exposition and the janitor shows up...and then he gets killed.  The characters play some jokes on each other that are...well, a little funny, anyway.  The bit where they bet Skip that he couldn't drop a quarter into a funnel stuck into his pants and then dumped water down it is pretty good.

The first of the characters that isn't a lowly janitor is killed during the party scene when one of the randos drinks an acid beer...and his stomach inflates and explodes in a big gooey mess.  The rest of the party bolts for it, only to find they're locked in and can't escape.  The stomach burst effect was actually pretty solid...looked good.

Know what's never a good idea?  Full black on screen.  Eventually the guy manages to show up under some lighting, but it takes a minute or so to get there.  I never really bought the "killer in the car" gag under these circumstances: the guy runs out with the keys to Carol's car, and Marty is inside.  How did Marty know which car the guy would go for?  Or, did he see him and instead jumped into it while nobody could see him?  I guess that's possible.

One of the dingbats decides to take a bath, which I'm not even sure where she'd find a bathtub in a high school, but somehow Marty rigged the plumbing to dump acid into the bath, and she melts.  Actually, right up until the last moment where her face dissolves in a time lapsed claymation effect, the death looks pretty good again: her body is covered by burns and stuff, and the girl has quite the pair of lungs on her.  Her scream is among the best.

Marty must have been worth a fortune...in order to fully rig this old abandoned school with death traps, electrified windows and such...I can't imagine how much that would cost.  Apparently being a hideously scarred psychopath pays really well.

One of the girls is married to one of the dolts...and was sleeping with one of the other guys, and apparently she and the other guy have a child that the husband-dolt thinks the kid is his.  Classy folks.  And then an impotence joke.  Hilarity.  I can't think of anything more inappropriate than having sex after two or three of your friends had died horribly...in typical horror film fashion, they're murdered in the middle of the act by an electrified bed.  Again, Marty really has his shit together.

Seems like we're already down to three: Skip, Caroline and the hippy girl whose name I didn't catch. Skip starts demanding that Marty show himself, yelling threats and the like...maybe not the best way to approach the situation.  But, considering that Skip asks "what do you want from us" and doesn't seem to understand that all Marty wants is their untimely deaths...I dunno, maybe try saying sorry?  Do they make a "sorry we inadvertently scarred you horribly" hallmark card?

Oh, Nancy is the hippy girls name...Nancy blames Caroline and Skip for all the carnage(which isn't entirely inaccurate, since they were the primary offenders) but quickly backs down.  Skip is convinced that Marty will leave them along after mid-day, which makes absolutely no sense.  I don't think time factors all that much in Marty's psychotic plan to exact murderous revenge.  Wait, April Fools ends at noon?  Where did that come from?  Hmm, research says it ends at Noon...in the UK.  I don't think this movie is supposed to be taking place there, though...Nancy is clearly cracking, Skip appears to have been hung.  Caroline is the only one keeping things together.

Marty furthers the mind games by playing the video of him being pranked, and Nancy runs for it.  Apparently Nancy succeeds where everyone else has failed and manages to get outside in no time...only to be herded into a pit full of hot mud or something.  Nancy almost makes it out, but Marty shoves her back in...which is apparently fatal.  Now Caroline gets to do the final girl panic and run around finding corpses, which is always fun, especially with the Manfredini music.  He really is one of my favorite composers.  Caroline wacks Marty with a bat, but then she, uh, drops it...and all the light bulbs burst(really, where did he get funding?!)...y'know, the photography isn't bad, either.  The simplistic, maze-like set design actually creates a sense of disorientation when combined with the narrow focus camera shots and steady-cam moves.

Adding to my "Caroline's life is actually a waking nightmare" thesis is her outfit. It looks like she made her own outfit out of bedsheets...parachute pants, big cumbersome belt over her stomach.  It's kind of awful.  So I'm not sure being attacked by Marty is even the worst thing to happen to her.  Did I mention that Marty has a jester mask, and that it's actually kind of cool?  I probably should have.  Oh, it turns out Skip wasn't dead...well, until he staggered in front of Caroline and she embedded a hatchet in his head. Oops.  April Fools, dude.

Despite having a run in with a strange death trap in the locker room the first time she was in there, Caroline runs back into it a second time anyway, hiding in the shower where she pranked Marty the first time.  Marty follows her in...takes off his mask, and plunges a spear right into her chest.  Marty then celebrates in crazy person fashion...until he hears the voices of his victims taunting him.  Actually, according to my research, the April Fools tradition they were citing earlier actually suggests that anyone who performs a prank after mid-day is the actual April Fool, so considering that he killed Caroline after noon might be why the ghosts of his victims are harassing him.

Except they aren't, because in another variation on the April Fools theme, this movie is an April Fools on the audience themselves:  the whole movie has actually been the fever dream psychotic fantasy of Marty in the hospital, apparently shortly after his accident.  For whatever reason, even though the alarm is going off, the Doctor takes his time responding, opting instead to finish his paperwork.  Marty kills the nurse, throws on her outfit, kills the Doc and starts ripping his own skin off as the movie draws to a close.

Final Thoughts: There's a clever element to the "all a dream" thing, considering that the movie was originally supposed to be called "April Fools Day" and playing with that concept.  It's not necessarily a great idea-and was done considerably better by April Fools Day-but there is an intelligence to it that is admirable.  For what is ostensibly a pretty straight-forward 1980's slasher flick, this works pretty well.  Some of the deaths are admittedly inventive(well, somewhat, anyway) and the effects are mostly well done, and the killer has a pretty striking look that even plays off of the absurdity of the entire scenario and the personalities of his victims.  It's pretty standard stuff, but there's a sense of charm here.

Final Rating: Two and a Half stars.

Movie 160: Leprechaun 3 (1995)

Starring: Warwick Davis, John Gatins, Lee Armstrong, John DeMita, Caroline Williams, Michael Callan.

Director: Brian Trenchard-Smith.

I have no idea how Leprechaun became an actual franchise that sustained as many films as it did (I'm stopping before I get to anything involving him hanging out with rappers, because even I have my limits), but somehow it became an actual thing that spanned six films and a (loose) remake.  I kind of get having a part two but...six movies?  Anyway, let's just keep going.  Think this one takes place in Las Vegas which...well, okay, that makes sense.

The fact that I'm sitting here watching Leprechaun 3 just fully settled on me and for one terrifying moment I questioned my entire worth as a human being.  I broke into a cold sweat, staring around the room, wondering if my entire life has been a waste, whether or not THIS was IT.  What if I die tonight, and the last thing I did was watch this series?  Have I accomplished anything of note in my 34 years of life?!

Then I realized that I've probably seen a lot worse.  I have sat through Demonic Toys 2 and Ten after all.

The movie opens with some derelict guy dragging a statue of the Leprechaun with a medallion over its neck to a pawn shop.  The guy gives him twenty bucks, complains about the medallion being fake(as he puts it on?) and the statue comes alive and attacks the pawn shop guy.  No pogo stick, though...instead he bites the guys toe off...

Oh, young lady, you don't want to be hitchhiking in Las Vegas.  You might end up attracting our creepy nerd of a lead character.  Anyway, he offers to explain to her what's wrong with her car: she breezes out and he says "You don't want to know this, do you?"  She says no.  I riff: "Learning how to help myself is dumb."  He agrees to give her a ride...the Leprechaun realizes he dropped a coin in the pawn shop.  Why does he keep carrying his gold around anyway?

Our blonde female star is apparently a magician...well, she's an assistant but wants to have her own act.Then we keep cutting back to our "foreign" stereotype pawn shop who looks at a cheap internet site to learn about Leprechauns, finds the coin and grabs a gun planning to kill the little bastard.  But, um, dude: the Leprechaun literally ate your toe.  Why would even assume a gun would work?  It's a magical creature.  I'm not sure why the pacing is so weird: it seems like the pawn shop story should have been your opener(and several minutes shorter) and then have the two leads do their little "meet-cute" nonsense, then tie the two together.  Instead we bounce back and forth.  It's irritating, but not as irritating as Scott, our lead: this nerd is supposed to be small town naive but, seriously: how can someone be so completely blown away by seeing gambling?  It's a casino, not the grand canyon.

Unsurprisingly, the magician Tammy works for is a total tool, and the...Jesus Christ Scott's parents gave him a check for $23,000?  That's bonkers.  Anyway, what I was I going to say?  Oh, right, something about insulting gender roles and a lot of obvious "wishes" our cast of characters are going to make...and Scott has just thrown down all that cash on a single game of roulette?  That's so painful I almost want to shut the movie off.  But, we're back to the Leprechaun/Pawn shop owner story for some reason.  Why hasn't this ended?  We're back to the kid losing all twenty-three grand which is utterly terrifying and almost entirely impossible.  Nobody is actually that dumb.

For the love of all that is holy why is this pawn shop story STILL HAPPENING?!  Scott should have ended up with that gold coin like twenty minutes ago.  Can we get on with this?  Okay, finally, Scott has entered the pawn shop to sell his watch so he can STILL GAMBLE, and then he uses the gold coin to make a wish to be back at the casino on a winning streak...apparently the coin grants the wishes without the actual power of the Leprechaun?  The video did suggest that, in this film, the Leprechaun's power comes from the gold and without it he's useless...oh, well.  Doesn't really matter, since we just have the Leprechaun making puns about the names of casinos, which just kind of irritates me.

Scott might be among the most irritatingly stupid characters I've seen in a film.  This movie is making me really, really mad.  The Leprechaun having a sight gag with an Elvis impersonator did not improve my mood.  At all.

This is supposed to be funny but it's just putting me on edge.  Everyone is trying to steal Scotts money and it's a farcical attempt to riff on "Midsummer Nights Dream" or whatever, with everyone looking for the coin and getting wishes and sexist and stupid stuff.  And now Scott is going to become a Leprechaun and...oh, why am I bothering?

A man was just electrocuted to death by a boob robot, and the Leprechaun beat up two loan sharks with a shaleleigh. Then he causes a Woman's butt, boobs and lips  expand to horrific sizes and...she explodes.  It wasn't really horrfying in the horror movie sense, but in the "geez, that's ugly and sexist and insulting."  

Final Thoughts: I had designs on doing the fourth film in the series but I just don't think I can bring myself to go ahead with it.  This third film was so awful that I think it actually threw my back out somehow.

Final Rating: One Star.

Movie 159: Leprechaun 2 (1994)

Starring: Warwick Davis, Charlie Heath, Shevonne Durkin, Sandy Baron, Adam Biesk, James Lancaster.

Director: Rodman Flender.

I don't remember the last time I watched Leprechaun 2.  I probably saw it once...pretty sure this is the one with the girl who would become the titular monsters bride if she sneezed three times or something?  Probably the only really interesting thing about any of these films is the general assumption that every single Leprechaun is basically identical.  There's no continuity to speak of so there isn't really a reason to believe that he's the same exact dude.  But, anyway, there's a movie happening.

A thousand years ago the Leprechaun had a slave and the Leprechaun says that it's Saint Patrick's Day and, as such, he is going to chose a bride.  If a young woman sneezes three times and nobody says "Bless you" than she is forced to marry the little shit and the slave goes free.  The slave is all on board until he finds out the girl in question is his Daughter.  So he says "bless you" and the Leprechaun places a curse on the family line: in a thousand years the Leprechaun will marry his descendant, which really probably shouldn't concern the slave too much since he'll likely be dead by then.

A title card reading "ONE THOUSAND YEARS LATER" made me laugh, I have to admit.  Then there is Clint Howard and Kimmy Robertson being suckered by a guy who does a haunted hollywood tour...apparently he's the boyfriend of our pretty blonde lead...whose accent is kind of odd...?  Anyway, the tourists apparently are totally willing to wait around for an hour while the kid goes and gets his boss who is enjoying all-day happy hour and is not particularly appealing.  

I'm glad they're showing me this kid taking a group of tourists on a crappy haunted hollywood tour.  I really feel like that was a good use of screen time, especially when that transitions into a drunken bum sleeping next to a tree on Harry Houdini's property that happens to be the home of the Leprechaun.  Because the tree has a sign on it that says "a gift from your friend in Ireland" which...uh...what?  

The Leprechaun comes out of the tree with the bums bottle of whiskey and takes a swig.  He then spits it out, complaining that it's a bottle of Canadian Whiskey.  "The only whiskey is Irish whiskey" The Leprechaun exclaims.  No argument here, Leprechaun.  Kind of wish I had some of that.  

Anyway, our two leads go to the go-kart track (because that's what adults do on dates...but they may not be adults?  Later the kid is only able to be released by the police to his legal guardian?) and the girl is delighted when her friend at the track notices that she changed her hair and finds someone to cover his shift so they could hang out...I think we're supposed to be on the side of the boyfriend(which, I mean, a guy has to make a buck so I wouldn't necessarily blame him for still making sure the tour goes on), but the other guy does seem nicer...well, okay, guess not.  Ian is being an asshole.  Calls her a tease and a stuck up bitch because she won't put out after he took the night off and bought her chili dogs.  Classy guy.  Glad the Leprechaun is about to kill him.  Wait, why did that scene need nudity and porn music?  I mean, she has nice breasts I suppose, but...anyway, it's weird. 

Warwick Davis being genuinely amused by his own antics tends to help: when he rips off a business man's finger and licks it, shouting "finger licking good" and basically convulsing with his own laughter...it's actually kinda funny.  He does it again when our lead opens the door and sees a man hanging there: the Leprechaun thinks this is unbelievably funny, like he literally forgot he put the corpse there.  

There's some creepy sexist things happening here: the Leprechaun places a collar on the girl, and immediately seeks out sex and talking about changing her body and face to carry his litter...I mean, he IS the villain so I guess that makes sense but it still is creeping me out in a not-so-fun way. I'm really uncomfortable now.

Apparently the Police (who spontaneously appeared for no reason) think our lead male, Cody, is responsible for killing the douche from earlier and possibly for kidnapping Bridget because they found flowers from him?  Not super bright cops.  Then Cody reads a bunch of stuff about the Leprechaun's powers and weaknesses (he can be hurt by rot iron)...and he has a gold coin so the Leprechaun is hunting him.  There's some mildly amusing dialogue from Morty, Cody's friend.

Oh, movie: now a black man dressed as a leprechaun hanging out chocolate gold coins?  At least it's brief.  I actually do kind of like the drinking contest scene, though: they had established that the bartender had a "red special rye" bottle (which was soda and seltzer), and so Morty uses it as a decoy, goading the Leprechaun into drinking actual whiskey while he drinks the fake booze.  I could have done without all the dwarf actors chanting "one of us" the whole time...but Davis has fun with it.  Even the music starts being off kilter as the Leprechaun is drunk.  It's actually a pretty good scene.

Morty fell for the oldest trick in the book: had the Leprechaun dead to rights and wishes for the pot of gold without thinking about adding conditions.  So the gold gets teleported into Morty's stomach.  Then Morty uses his other wishes to basically release the Leprechaun and die.  But that's irony for you.  Why the Leprechaun didn't just do that forty minutes ago (pretty sure Cody would have given up the gold if he was rotting from the inside out) is beyond me....

"Have you had your iron today?"  Ouch, that line was really bad.

I think we're coming up on the climax: Cody has entered the Leprechaun's lair, Bridget is trying to escape, etc.  Bridget looks pretty good in her red dress and slippers...even if it's all kind of demeaning.  Again, he's the villain so that's a thing but it's still creepy.  This finale really is taking it's sweet time, though: fighting skeletons and getting wrapped in brambles which just go away...and Bridget could just pick the lock to remove her magic collar thingy?  Seems like that could have happened awhile ago, too.

Cody outsmarts the Leprechaun and the Leprechaun explodes after being stabbed with rot iron which, again, probably could have happened twenty minutes ago, really.  

Final Thoughts:  Davis has a bunch of energy that is somewhat appealing, and there's one or two good scenes in there.  But mostly it's...well, it's not good.  Still, you could make an argument that it's a better movie than, say, Boondock Saints.

Final Rating: Two Stars.