Starring: Melanie Kinnaman, John Shepard, Shavar Ross, Richard Young, Marco St.John, Juliette Cummins, Corey Feldman.
Director: Danny Steinmann.
I don't think I really got into it while I wrote about Part 4 but it was the introduction of Tommy Jarvis who is the closest thing this series gets to a central protagonist. Tommy faces down Jason at the cost of his sanity in that film, ending with Jason's apparent death. Tommy returns in this film as what basically amounts to a deranged lunatic, and a whole lot of hilarity ensues.
Despite this quite possibly being the absolute worst of the series, it's also one of my favorites. The reason for this is really simple: It's near the very top of my so-bad-its-good list. It's one of the greatest bad movies ever made, and I think I might enjoy going through this again.
Anyway, Feldman returns briefly, reprising his role as Young Tommy for an opening dream sequence. The fact that it's a dream sequence is probably the only thing that excuses the ridiculousness of two men running around in a rain storm to dig up the body of a long dead serial killer, all while saying little more then "Come on, Man, dig! Dig! Faster!" It's all very absurd. Anyway, Corey witnesses the return of Jason but wakes up just as Jason is about to cut him down.
Tommy, now a young adult, sits in the back of a Mental Health Facility van being driven to a halfway house for kids who apparently ready to re-enter society(not that you'd know it by, y'know, looking at or talking to them). Of course, because it's a Friday The 13th film, the driver is both an asshole and casually reads a porno.
As played by John Shepherd, Tommy is a barely restrained lunatic. When he isn't catatonic, he appears to be violent. Clearly, he's recovering nicely. The nice Doctors at his new home even comment on his inability to be treated so...why is he there again? Oh, right: the plot.
Anyway, he meets Reggie The Reckless: a young black kid who apparently sees nothing wrong in playing pranks on the mentally ill. But, since he's reckless, I guess that makes sense. '
There's no way I'll be able to keep up with this film. No way at all. It's wall-to-wall lunacy. No sooner had I finished writing a sentence on Reggie, the two redneck neighbors show up to STEAL THE SHOW with their craziness. Ethel and her Son arrive to complain about the looneys coming onto her property. It needs to be seen to be believed.
There is a legitimately shocking scene when overweight Joey, doing his best awkward John Candy impression, tries to help the intensely angry Vic with the wood chopping. The scene is partly comedic-Joey is clearly playing up the comedy-but partly sweet(Joey really loves it at the farm, and his innocence is underscored). And then Vic hacks him to pieces with an axe. It's actually kind of a surprising scene. It's a pretty plot specific scene, too, even though it doesn't look like that. One of the EMTs at the scene is particularly distressed by the whole thing (while the other does the traditional series behavior of thinking it's particularly funny that a kid is dead...popping his bubble gum and laughing about the "pussies")...who it turns out is Joey's estranged Father and the new imposter Jason.
Everybody looks like somebody else in this movie. I can't believe that this isn't intentional. Ethel and her Son look like very dirty versions of Adrienne Barbeau(without the endowments) and Randy Quaid. Vic looks like Clint Eastwood. One of the other kids has a Tom Cruise look. There's even a guy who looks like Michael Jackson later.
Tommy once again shows his clear march towards sanity by beating up another of his fellow...inmates? Patients? Peers? I dunno. Anyway, the guy scares Tommy...so Tommy responds by beating the shit out of him.
The shithead van driver from the beginning shows up to pick up a diner waitress. They have an exchange of bizarre double entendres...Lana goes inside to amuse herself in a mirror("Iiiiiiiiit's SHOWTIME!" She exclaims as she unzips her top, exposing her breasts to herself. She then sprays mouth freshener down her cleavage when she's done), Billy does some Cocaine ("Forecast calls for showers in the forests, sunshine in the valley, and snow flurries up your nose"), and both end up dead. I should be keeping a running tally for deaths in this series (even though this isn't Jason).
Y'know, I find it kind of clever that Jason isn't the killer in this film. For a film that calls itself A New Beginning it makes a certain kind of sense. The original film has Mrs.Voorhees killing out of revenge for her dead son. Three films of said son, returned from the grave (or the woods, or whatever...I never bought the "he saw his Mother killed" bit because, well, why would they have assumed he had drowned? Don't make no sense)...we finish that off, and now we have a new beginning: A man killing teens out of revenge for his son's death. Jason obviously makes his return later, but for the time being we get the pissed off orderly instead.
Pam, who is ostensibly our lead, takes Reggie to see his Brother. His Brother is named Demon. The movie plays scary music as they drive to the trailer park. Nothing about this makes sense. Demon, however, is the height of hilarity: he has jerry curls, dresses in rock star leather, looks and sounds a little like Michael Jackson and lives in a van. It's hysterical. As soon as Reggie leaves, Demon has a horrible stomach reaction to the horrible food he's been eating...so he runs to the outhouse where he and his Girlfriend perform a rendition of "ooh, baby" which is just amazing. It might be my favorite thing in any of these films.
During the heartfelt reunion between Reggie and Demon, Tommy beats up Junior in the trailer park and runs off into the night. It's also glorious. Everything about this movie is so awesomely bad it boggles the mind. Junior drives around the farm on his motorcycle screaming about his injuries(or just screaming) until his head gets cut off.
Poor Jake. He wants to tells Robin he has feelings for her, and she laughs at him. Granted, Robin is a nice enough person to feel bad about it afterwards, but it was still a pretty mean thing to do. Jake sheds some tears, and goes to ask Violet for advice. She's too busy doing the robot. To Pseudo Echo's "His Eyes." It's...seriously, it's awesome...I wish I could find a video. But for some reason I can't get youtube to cooperate through the blog.
As Faux-Jason begins to give chase to Pam and Reggie, there's a couple hilarious things that happen. One, when Reggie sees Jason standing over the body of the other paramedic, he screams incredibly loudly and shrilly...and then bolts off into the woods at a dead sprint, leaving Pam in the dust. It's pretty hilarious. Jason focuses on Pam, anyway, mostly by tossing the bodies of characters we didn't even know were dead through windows at her. Reggie comes to her rescue with a tractor, though. You can't make this stuff up.
The ending is pretty standard stuff and not really worth commenting on. Really, once Violet is done with her robot dancing...it's all pretty downhill from there. There is the postscript of Tommy once again seeing his imaginary Jason-friend and once again apparently losing his mind...and we're left with the impression that he might don the mask and become the next killer to perform under the Jason identity.
Final Thoughts: It's a wonderful bad movie, no doubt about it. It's filled with a great deal of over-the-top silliness and deranged performances, and it's so entertaining while being a big giant mess. Like I said before, there is some actual intelligence to the film's conception even though it's awkward in practice. If nothing else, it's worth it as a fun bad movie.
Final Rating: Two Stars.
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