Starring: Eric Freeman, James Newman, Elizabeth Kaitan, Jean Miller, Darrell Guilbeau.
Director: Lee Harry.
Hoo, boy, time for the mother of all terrible films. It's been many, many years since I've sat down and watched this thing...but I feel like this will be fun. My memories suggest that this was "so-bad-it's-good" and very hilarious. We'll see how time has treated it. But, hey. There's at least GARBAGE DAY to look forward to.
Pretty intense stare down between the orderly and Ricky The Serial Killer. Ricky is, of course, played by the great schlock actor Eric Freeman, who has become something of an icon due to his good nature about all the jokes made at his expense. He might be a bad actor, but he's had fun with that fact, and has been a real good sport. So, merry christmas, Mr.Freeman. I'm probably going to insult you without mercy for the next ninety minutes.
Seriously, Freemans acting is ALL eyebrows. The guy has no filter, either: every single line of dialogue and every movement is Acting with a Capital A. He shakes his head a lot, too. Like, nodding or shaking with every syllable. It's beautiful and terrible all at once.
...oh, shit, I remember now. The first half of this is a truncated recap of the movie I just finished watching, isn't it? Oh, hell, what have I gotten myself into? I mean, your movie was bad enough without adding bad footage from another bad movie into it. Life is about choices, Movie, and you just made a really poor one. Pretty impressive that Ricky can recount events he was too young to remember...or just flat-out wasn't present for. If only they had recognized Rickys talents! He could have been a charlatan psychic or volunteered for the space program or something. Ricky could have been a really shitty superhero! Like, I dunno, Hindsight Lad.
(Just so you know: Hindsight Lad was really a superhero. The more you know...)
They changed the actors in some of the flashback scenes. Not bad editing, though: the scenes are identical even with the new actors. They could have at least cast blonde teens to replace the "blonde teens that inexplicably have sex in an orphanage that Mother Superior whacks with a belt."
"I. Don't. Sleep." I'm out of my depth with this film. There's nothing I could say that would be funnier than what's actually happening on screen. Or the colossal joke that is a director using another guy's (deeply mediocre) footage to prop up his own crappy film. "Nobody heard him screaming. But I did." I wish the Doctor looked at Ricky and said "So, by definition, somebody heard him screaming. Not nobody, but literally the opposite."
Due to the re-usual of footage, there are flashbacks within flashbacks. I can only imagine Ricky saying "And then Billy had sudden specific flashbacks about the night our parents were killed" in his forced growly voice.
"And then some kids were mean to some other kids. So Billy killed them. I know this despite all of it taking place in the woods with nobody around. And Billy died in front of me without ever telling me. But I still know all about it in very specific detail."
Ricky scoffs at everything more than Napolean Dynamite. "The Rosenbergs. Pfff." I kind of understand young Rickys reaction at Nuns walking down the street, though: I, too, get worried, hyperventilate, and grab the Woman next to me saying "Mom" a lot. Well, okay, maybe not that last part. But Nuns freak me out. Well, okay, maybe they don't. But I wanted to write something funny about it.
Pretty understanding of the lady in Rickys flashback to just, y'know, stick around for a picnic after her boyfriend violently attempted to rape her before, defeated, wandering off to get a beer out of his jeep. However, she does say "Thank You" after witnessing Ricky run the guy over a few dozen times. So he had that going for him.
Honestly, Eric Freeman is a better actor than the guy who plays "Rocco" who seems to be a loan shark.,,who wears a tie, so maybe he's actually like a realtor or something. This Rocco seems pretty confident in his combat skills, considering Ricky is much bigger and scarier than he is. It's worth it for the "Umbrella through the gut and then opened on the other side" gag, though. I mean, it even starts raining afterwards. That's some pretty good intentional comedy, actually. Made me laugh.
Actually, I'm coming to the understanding that maybe this isn't so "unintentionally funny" after all. I think there's definitely something intentional to some of this humor and, really, from that perspective it's actually a bit successful. Most of the time Rickys antics are meant to be a sort of wish-fulfillment. When Ricky encounters a couple of assholes in the back of a movie theater yelling things, we have a bit of "Go get 'em, Ricky."
Wow, Rickys girlfriend has some weird priorities: "You stood me up, you cheated on me, you ruined my favorite sweater" I mean...wow. One of these things is not like the other. But, hey, this scene is really dragging on. That segues into another scene where someone(the stupid ex boyfriend from the theater) somehow decides to underestimate the jacked six foot three Ricky. The guy says things that no human being would say and then Ricky kills him...so the Girlfriend responds not by running away or calling for help or even attempting to calm the psycho down, but instead says "I hate you" and then, hilariously enough, says "Uh oh" and runs for it.
Ricky gets a gun and makes the most hysterical laugh ever...oh, here it comes!
What's better than that? I mean, other than the Cops drawing down on Ricky after his rampage...and then begging him not to kill himself when he puts his own gun to his head. Absolute hilarity.
Whoa, what happened to Mother Superiors face? I know they recast her-and that's fine-but why does she have some sort of horrible skin condition? Was she in a fire? Did she develop leprosy or something? You spent an hour on flashbacks but failed to explain this fairly obvious piece of information? Seems that Mother Superior also lives at 666 Fake Street, partakes of a lot of wine and judges everybody. Sounds like a pretty good life to me.
Eric Freeman is a national treasure and this film should be in a museum. This performance is the worst thing ever to happen and it's glorious.
Once again, somebody really underestimates a huge dangerous guy. Mother Superior, elderly, infirm and in a wheelchair, grabs a knife and demands Ricky face her. She calls him out. Despite Ricky being massive and weilding an axe. She insults his Brother. This is after running from the guy for ten minutes...and all she has is a little kitchen knife.
Ricky actually says "Boo!" before the Cop shoots him. That is..I mean, that's amazing.
Final Thoughts: It's terrible. Half of it is a flashback to another movie which, while deeply mediocre, is actually a better film. Eric Freeman is the worst actor ever to be in a feature film. Still, there are bits of dumb humor that make this better than some other stuff I've seen...for a schlock "so bad it's good" movie, this is actually more watchable than it should be.
Final Rating: One and Half Stars. As a riffable comedy, however, it's like a billion stars.
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