Movie 36: Dollman Vs. Demonic Toys

"Starring": Tim Thomerson, Tracy Scoggins, Melissa Behr, Phil Fondacaro, Frank Welker.

"Director": Charles Band

Hoo, boy.  Here we go.

Blessedly, this "film" is only an hour long...and most of that running time is spent recapping Demonic Toys, Dollman and Bad Channels in case you weren't a complete masochist and had no interest in seeing any of those films.  I know this is going to be bad.  It was last time.  But I never learn, and I got a quota to make.

The opening credits have this fun, stylish pure-1990's feel to them.  Neon lights and floating pictures and a mash-up of musical themes from both of the original movies.  Plus, the credits have promised me original songs from Quiet Riot.  

Phil Fondacaro might be one of my favorite actors ever.  I don't know of any other actors who has done as much with so little as he has.  If nothing else, I can always thank Full Moon Pictures for keeping Phil Fondacaro in paychecks.  Bless you, Mr.Fondacaro,for assuredly making the world a better place.  I should watch Ghoulies II sometime soon so I can see him in a gorilla suit calling carnival patrons Philistines.  

Creepy homeless guy hisses "Hope you don't mind sharing your home with me for tonight," to the dolls, and then adds, "If you do...fuck you."  Then he rides a tricycle around, hits his head, bleeds what is assuredly mostly grain alcohol, and brings back the evil toys.  That's the whole story behind the return of the demonic toys.  Bum breaks his head open.

Tracy Scoggins returns to reprise her role as Judith Grey.  I think she actually got a little better: she feels more believable than she did in the original.  Luckily for her, the killer robot is a lousier shot than she is.

So, wait, Ginger or whatever is a foot tall and...stuck on a kitchen counter...how did she get to the kitchen counter in the first place?  I know, I know...I shouldn't be poking holes in a premise that is already this full of holes. 

I kind of enjoy Tim Thomerson's over-the-top gritty nineties cop bit.  The way he grunts out his one-liners and wears his shades...it's so self-aware that I can't help but finding it endearing.  Plus, apparently, his gun just causes people to completely explode, so...I guess that's something.  But, wait, movie...Ginger said "I told you how I got this way" when trying to get Brick to talk about his past...and then proceeds to tell him about how she got that way.  But, I shouldn't complain: Bad Channels looks unwatchable.  So this saves me from having to watch it.

The overall premise of this film has a sort of excellent simplicity to it: Tracy Scoggins wants to kill Evil Toys, Evil Toys keep dodging her, so she brings in Dollman to even the playing field.  Simple enough.

Well, they just got rid of Tracy Scoggins pretty quickly. For someone who is leaving a son someplace without a Mom she seems pretty serene to be dying.  Puts more weight to my theory that the supposed soul of her unborn baby was actually some sort of otherworldly entity: it's certainly not interested in protecting her anymore now that it's been born.

Man, the addition of the action figure was goofy.  

I feel like this movie cost way more than the original Demonic Toys if only because everything had to be made bigger.  Although they DO mostly use forced perspective, and keep the sets as generic looking as possible, they still had to make bigger versions of everything.  

I don't think just any movie could boast Baby Doll Rape as a plot device.  I think most movies have more sense. But, seriously.  Baby Doll Rape.

Obviously, Baby Doll doesn't pull it off.  Brick puts him down before that can happen...but still.

And, just as soon as it started, it's blessedly over.

Final Thoughts:  Honestly, Dollman vs.Demonic Toys is done a lot of favors by being so short: for one, it's paced really well.  There is absolutely no filler material whatsoever, and it probably saved a shit ton of money, too.  Tim Thomerson is fun in his role and is a great parody of tough guy action movie cops of the 90's.  Melissa Behr is good looking and not altogether a bad actress.  That being said: the giant sized versions of the evil toys are dreadful, even when they're not being used a lot, the plot gets ugly when it should have kept it light...but as a schlock nineties quicky it could have been a lot worse.

Final Rating: Barely Two Stars.