Movie 58: The Hazing (Dead Scared)

Starring: Brad Dourif, Brooke Burke-Charvet, Nectar Rose, Tiffany Shepis, Perry Shin, Philip Andrew, Jeremy Maxwell.

Director: Rolfe Kanefsky.

So it's a week before Halloween and time to start a mad rush to see as many Halloween horror flicks as I possibly can.  I realize now I probably should have started this run earlier since I don't have as much time as I thought I would.  So..mad dash.

I've owned this for awhile.  I remember that it was picked up during that wonderful period when VHS was dying (as was the video store industry) and they were selling everything off for cheap.  I would walk out with arm loads of random horror flicks.  It was a glorious time.  

Anyway, it's a terrible film that has Brad Dourif in it for some reason.  But it takes place on Halloween.  So, let's do it.

Dourif is hamming it up more than usual and it's making me feel kind of sad.  Of course, he doesn't have an extraordinary script to work with: a lot of poor exposition about devils and ancient books and the all the usual cliches.  There seems to be an underlying implication that this is supposed to be a spoof or something, but...it's mostly making me tense.

Tiffany Shepis, though.  Great low-budget scream queen of the modern era.  Easy on the eyes, too.  I don't know exactly what her costume is supposed to be...disco queen?  Space alien?  I'm leaning towards disco queen...costume is form-fitting and, as such, nice to look at.  She's really quite wonderful.

But we have a pretty generic plot: pledges for idiotic sorority/fraternity(why do people join these things?  Looks like the most obnoxious thing ever) who are off to do dumb frat things and end up at a haunted house where bad things happened.  

Two annoying things already: an eye-rolling reference to the beginning of Reservoir Dogs with the characters walking in slow-motion to a song that sounds a lot like "Little Green Bag" and a sign that plugs Bruce Campbell's "If Chins Could Kill" with a sign that reads that Campbell is live and in person...Campbell does not appear, so I wonder why it wasn't cut.  It's like chekovs gun...don't invoke Bruce Campbell if there is no Bruce Campbell.

Brad Dourif is dressed as the little monks from Phantasm.  Or whatever.  

One of the only times I've seen real 911 usage, though: once you call 911 they know where you are.  

Actually, that exchange wasn't bad: "What's that sound?" Delia asks.

"Ghost using someones head as a basketball, I'm guessing.  What do you think, Einstein?" One of the guys says.

"...wind blowing shutters against the house?" The other replies.
"Now that's just silly." The first guy says.  Not bad.

Douche bag says he's the leader because he's the male.  Tiffany punches him in the face.  Nice.

There's actually some witty dialogue in this.  It's actually gotten a couple of laughs out of me.  I kind of like Dourif, in ghost form, irritably chastising the douche bag guy for his lack of intellect.  The movie is filled with poor production values, cliches, bad effects and the like...but the actors have charisma and the dialogue is witty.  Not good-the script is still pretty terrible-but there is some wit.

Is it wrong that I totally want a girl to talk to me that way("be my little lap dog!  Good boy!") when I'm going down on her?  That's...pretty hot...

Actually, it's coming back to me: I think I remember liking this movie more than I thought. Delia ends up being incredibly tough and intelligent...and just obfuscates stupidity.  And she was using the blonde dude for sexual gratification.  That's kinda great.  This movie is pretty good about strong female characters.  And that's a good thing.

Unfortunately the scares and death scenes just aren't there.  Giant darts to the head and random balloons...the giant stretchy snake tongue was okay, but...just not there.  The turning into a manikin thing isn't so bad, I guess...that's actually pretty terrifying, really.  I mean, psychologically anyway.  The effects are...okay, I suppose, but that's a really horrible way to go.  Frozen in place, unable to speak...ugh, gives me the wiggins.

Well, we got one good Dourif laugh at least.  

Delia might be one of my favorite Female horror characters, actually: that willingness to use men, the intelligence and willingness to survive, grabbing actually useful weapons...she's excellent. Marsha is pretty cool, too, mostly because Tiffany Shepis has an easy coolness and charisma.  Likable ladies.

Tim gives some okay hero stuff, too.  I especially like his angry speech about stereotypes: everyone assumes he's a genius nerd because he's asian...but he hates computers, doesn't like libraries and lost his virginity at fifteen.  Nice.

Final Thoughts: Well, not nearly as bad as one might think.  Sure, there's a lot of bad, but it mostly works in favor of it's obviously campy leanings.  While not every performance, special effect or scare sequence works (at all) we still have three mostly engaging leads, some witty dialogue, and especially two rather excellent Female characters who totally dodge normal Female stereotypes.  It's not great, but it has enough fun to be marginally watchable.

Final Rating: Two and a half stars.