Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Movie 40: The Gallows


Starring: Reese Mishler, Pfeifer Brown, Ryan Shoos, Cassidy Gifford, Travis Cluff.
Director: Travis Cluff, Chris Lofing.

So I just picked this up today on a whim-I guess it actually was released today-not thinking much about it.  I've read mixed reviews:one clickbait article of "The Year's Best Horror" had this listed as "Found Footage Done Right" and then, I think, "The AV Club" called it awful.  I don't know much about it other than that.  Figured I'd give it a rip, see how it goes.

Already we've got the number one "found footage" trope: Main character is a douche.  I cannot, for the life of me, figure out where that came from.  I mean, seriously: when did sympathetic characters stop being a thing?  Instead I've got some shithead giving a running commentary about "the dorks" in drama club and making unfunny jokes during their rehersal...as if anyone is ever going to watch this asshat's video after he films it.  

The premise: years ago a kid died during a performance of a high school play and now the play is being put on again.  Unfortunately, the whole experience is cataloged by the biggest asshole with the worst attitude ever instead of just shot like a regular movie where his nonsense might be tolerable.  My patience is being severely tested by this main character: he has openly insulted every single person around him (including his friend, who might actually be a decent character considering he's doing the play to get the girl who is playing the lead:if only the film were about him), mocking the teacher, his own girlfriend (rather sexist), bullies the stage manager and generally does things that would have easily gotten him kicked out of the class...and films evidence of his own asshattery.  Then he gets the idea to trash the stage (due to a door that's broken and never locks?  Seriously?  The school never FIXED it?) the night before the performance-enlisting his friend (because "he sucks" in the play and he'll be able to comfort the object of his affections when she realizes the play is off...because no theater group has ever been able to recover from such things, apparently) and his Girlfriend-while filming the whole thing.

God, I hope a Ghost shows up to murder this guy soon.  

I understand that the point is that he's an unlikable guy.  I understand that it's supposed to make it satisfying when he dies...but that doesn't make it work.  The general idea of fiction is characters we can understand and relate to.  The "Asshole Victim" trope is lazy.  Can't write a character who works?  Make him a dick so the audience hates him!  I'm not saying it never works, it just...shouldn't be there.  In fact, in this movie, Reese (the best friend with a crush on the drama department darling) and Pfeifer (the aforementioned drama queen) are interesting and likeable.  They have feelings and passions.  If they had made a regular movie where we could spend equal time among different characters as they established their motivations going into the story, we might have had something here.  But instead they went found footage, made the guy filming everything (and WHY IS HE FILMING STILL?!  They are wandering around in the dark trying to find a way out of the locked school and he films EVERYTHING!) an asshole and just hoped for the best?

Oh my god, can it be true?!  Are they about the kill Ryan?!   PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE MOVIE!  As Crow T. Robot said(replacing "Ryan" with "John Agar": "Movie, I'm not usually a praying man but if you're up there please kill Ryan."  

I would have watched the movie if it was about Reese.  I could accept the asshole best friend as a supporting character.  They have those all the time.  But we've spent 90% of this movie establishing a dick.  I feel like they're moving in a direction that it IS about Reese, but we still have Ryan.  For Fuck's Sake we still have Ryan...

The only urgency I feel when the characters are desperately trying to get to Ryan is me saying: "No, No, guys, leave it!  Let him die!  No, don't go in there!  You might actually Save Him!"  

I mean, really, guys.  It's just Ryan.

Oh, hey, one interesting device they finally use four hours into this thing: multiple cameras actually provide two different events at the same time.  As the other three are pounding on a door to try and rescue Ryan, we see what happens to Ryan.  They better not tease me.  Pull the trigger on this, guys.  

YAY, RYAN IS DEAD!  Now the credits can roll and I can watch something else, right?  Right?  Guys...?

Okay, I guess we're still rolling.  At least we can focus on Reese and maybe he can be somewhat interesting?  Pfeifer is kinda interesting even though we don't know anything about her...Cassidy isn't interesting but, I dunno, she screams well?  I guess.

I assume those are tears of joy Cassidy is crying?  I mean, Ryan's dead.  That can only be good news.  I nearly wept myself.  Doesn't matter now, though: two down, two to go.

The killer or ghost or whatever leaves a lot to be desired.  Hangman mask and a noose as his weapon.  It's fitting, of course, hanging is a part of the main premise but...still.  Not a particularly scary villain.  We have little to no knowledge of the origin of this hangman thing, either.  

Basically, the entire use of found-footage was clearly just to justify it's last conceit: Reese returns to the theater to rescue Pfeifer, the camera switches to watching the stage, we see them do their lines, and then he sacrifices himself: it isn't a bad scene, it actually has a sentiment and cleverness to it.  I mean, it ends up falling apart, of course...it's 'twist" comes out of left field and....yeah.  This sucked.

Final Thoughts: Coulda just made a regular movie and this would have worked a lot better.  Eleventh hour justifications don't make crap into gold, two almost likeable characters do not make a complete cast...damn near everything here was absolute garbage.  At least Ryan died.

Final Rating: One and a Half.  Lousy.


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